Dear parents

Before saying hi I would like to take off my hat because the respect I have for you cannot be described. Let me introduce myself, I am a fourth-year student , son of a pastor commonly known as well-known as a PK (pastor’s kid). Some people say that PK’s are trouble makers but I beg to disagree ……. I am a young man who has maintained purity, yes, I mean purity. And by the way I don’t mean Purity Kambui, Purity Mwende, Purity Akinyi ……. I mean I have maintained virginity and  I am  planning to maintain it until the day I will say I DO as I walk down the aisle with a Swahili girl on  that ceremonious day, I don’t take drugs apart from the ones I get from the hospital and sometimes I even ask the doctor if it is possible to give an injection and spare me with drugs…..in short I don’t smoke, take alcohol or any other form of drugs whether legal or illegal. I think the only drug that I take is coffee which I’m told by my seventh day Adventist friends that it’s a drug.

 

With a lot of respects allow me to go direct to the body of the letter without beating about the bush, when your daughter gets pregnant before getting married call a bash, yes a bash! Not because she has done one of the best thing on earth but allow me tell you that there are more reasons to celebrate than to get mad.

First of all that’s a clear indication that your daughter is not a lesbian, I guess you won’t be happy when your daughter came home to introduce a girl as the wife/ husband or will you get happy when Mary says she want to be married to Jane?

Secondly that is proof that she is not a murderer, yes, she is not a murderer like others who are aborting like nobody’s business.

Thirdly, you are just lucky that you will not die before seeing your mjukuu. A lot of young girls have aborted so many times to an extent that their uterus have decided to go on strike, others have used drugs za uongo na ukweli that have massacred the system.

Fourth, that is what you planted and as the wise men says ‘utavuna ulichokiopanda’ I know here you are almost getting mad wondering what I mean by you are harvesting what you planted. Kindly sit back and relax as I tell you where you went wrong. You concentrated too much on making money and forgot to take care of your child. Kindly allow me to let you know that a maid servant can’t replace you at any cost. By the way for your information some of the children lost their virginity to the male and maidservants. The next thing that you left to replace you is the television, here they learnt all crazy things and one of the product of what they learnt is this early visitor …Anyway dear parents’ I am not here to teach how to bring up your children, am not here also to blame you but I don’t mind telling you the truth as it is. By the way you have brought up your child, is it the same way you were raised by your parents? Go back to the drawing board.

As I conclude I still insist on throwing a bash and I have volunteered to be the mc at no cost and don’t forget to call the mushroom to play “HAKUNA MATATA”

 

Yours faithfully,

One of the few youths’ who has maintained purity

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